Where I landed. Where I go.

My feet are back on the ground, I think. It's been a long lingering month or two where things were so busy that I had to be disciplined just to finish all the tasks on my plate. Chris and I got married and that required my complete attention. After a simple family ceremony in our yard, we went to Maine and had a few days of wonderful surf to unwind. Immediately upon returning, it was the start of college and I had to pull myself together to teach Design at COBY two nights a week instead of 1. Meekly, I post on this blog, but I feel guilty for letting things just die here. I continue to do this periodically. I am not sure about the overall future of this forum....I  am still weighing out where I am going from here.

I did a small showing of art at the Harvest Fest in Sharon Springs over the weekend. The Harvest Fest was not exactly the best art forum, but I did want to show these pieces to the local folk that live in the town that the art was about. I got to talk to various people about Sharon Springs and I even sold a couple of pieces. As I put things away in boxes to bring down to the Elephant Bistro in town, I really felt the urge to just put this work to rest. I have already shown it and I actually am tired of it all. The Bistro, however, really wanted to have some pieces hanging in their restaurant, so I brought them down there. Regardless of this strategy, it does feel like it's the end of an era. It's the end of the Sadler era and it's time for me to move on to new ideas and formats.
I felt badly about not selling more this weekend and I had to sit back and think about reality.
The one thing I did sort out over the weekend is my own thought process, which isnt' working right.
I do art to express myself and as I do this, I could care less what anyone would think of the completed work. I go for a particular "look" and when I achieve it, I toss the canvas aside and move onto the next unfinished puzzle. When I feel I have completed a body of work, I take it to a gallery to show/sell. I take these artworks and present them to the public where I now expect them to like it---no, love it-- and perhaps even purchase it. 
When I create, I could care less about anyone else. But afterwards, I am trying to sell to someone else, and honestly, what nerve!! I expect them to like my viewpoint, and the way I presented it, and also to buy it and love it like it's there own. I am looking to be rewarded for being me. No wonder it's such a bummer when art doesn't sell, or when someone doesn't exactly like what you do. You really put yourself on the line. There's no way to avoid this I don't think. 
So there are 2 ways to go on from here.
1. Cater to the public. Figure out what sells, figure out what people want, and give it to em. Not sure if this is anywhere near as personally satisfying. But, if out society decides merit upon how much money we make, then this is definitely the answer. Lots of money = good artist.
2. Do my own thing, and suffer the consequences. If it sells, good. If it doesn't, who cares? I got my satisfaction out of the creation anyhow.

My new husband says that art is my therapy and that I probably would stop doing it if I did it just for sales. I tend to agree. But this doesn't help the wallet! And somehow this whole sales thing seems to tie into the money thing. And the money thing ties into the self worth thing. And the world goes round.

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