I Was Heading Somewhere with that last post...

I really was trying to make a collage related post yesterday, and it got so long I never made it to the point of it all! These text posts seem really boring and odd and out of character for me. However, they are a good reflection of what is going on with me at the moment. A lot of black and white concrete thinking. Serious stuff.

continuing from yesterday...

I find it so annoying that trait in myself that wants to follow the herd, and be with "the others". Creativity is stifled in this manner, and I hate it that I keep on doing this following thing. It's a bummer. And I am trying to put a stop to the craziness.

This year has been a year of personal inner discovery for me. I went to NY and spent a moment in a successful artists' studio in order to have a personal discovery. Lo and behold I got it. My discovery was that I am such a sponge. I suck up images and ideas and they get INTO my head and start taking over. (then it turns square like sponge bob...) They go in there rattle around and out comes art that looks amazingly similar in style to the things I looked at. I can't get around it, altho I have tried. Over and over again. I also notice a distinct pattern lately in the way that I approach my work. It feels too damned easy. I almost feel mechanical when I start something instead of excited and fresh. This is disturbing and it alerted me to the idea that it's time for a change. As artists, we get comfortable. I don't like it. I want to squirm.

Lately, I have taken a small hiatus from the studio table. The last 2 months I have been taking tons of photos, publishing little books of my previous work, reading artist autobiographies and in general keeping myself AWAY from the visual influence of others by not daily reading blogs or googling all day. This practice is definitely detrimental to my own personal blog experience! I have not been combing the web looking for artists, have not been pouring over websites of art history and collage, have not been reporting back interesting tidbits from the Yahoo collage group. Therefore, at this point after 2 months, I feel I have nothing to share but myself. These words. It's a far cry from a daily visual fix that you may have gotten here before...I apologize for that.

I am hoping to empty my brain (as much as I can) of imagery, empty my self from influence, and get down to the core of what MY art can look like. I want to find an entirely "new" look for what I do and that's really tough to do when you are constantly bombarding yourself with imagery. It's like a brainwashing that for me at least is unavoidable. I am experimenting with my own artistic creative tendencies...by giving them a small rest and a chance to rejuvenate. Percolate. I am hoping to find that by providing my muse with a little isolation, she can rise up her OWN voice and provide me with an entirely new inspiration. A new emotion. I seek an artistic portrayal from ME, not a conglomerate interpretation of YOU.

I am almost ready at this point to go back to "work". I have been chomping at the bit for a week already and I am trying to distill it all down to an entirely new visual attitude. I have new materials at hand. New glues at hand. New papers and some luan at hand. I have new pictures, some new equipment. Even my brain is ready. Inside my head, I have new things to explore and share. I need to go to my studio and treat the situation like a brand new chemistry set. Mix a little of this a little of that and see what new things will happen.

In the meantime, plenty of blogs out there have "taken up the cause" and you can find a lot of places that will provide a daily image, a daily artist for you to drool and swoon over. Soon enough, I will be posting new work again here. But it's likely to be my own work and not someone else's for awhile.


Jaxx said...

I've enjoyed reading your last two posts very much...keep up the good exploring. Take your time and then go for it when you're ready; I have a lot of friends who seem to be searching for that inner artist, so you're not alone. Looking forward to seeing your new work whenever you feel ready to create and share....

andrea said...

Hi Julie,

great reflections and questions I've been pondering as well.

The other day, for the negotiations with Netflix, I compiled a page about the viral life and presence of 1000 Journals, and while I was doing this, I thought a lot about what the internet means for me and my work.

- I can create, grow, and maintain friendships, have a dialog, give and find support.
- I can connect with, grow, and maintain an audience.
- I get part of my daily dose of news, information, political action. I get research done. I learn.
- If I like, I can turn on "the chatter," and listen in to status updates, and check out twittered, digged, and blogged links and stories, and connect with and/or add to "Zeitgeist," and "tribes," and "trends." And play. And then I can turn the spigot off, leave the constant flow, get back to my work. Sometimes inspired, sometimes just eye-tired.

I'm not competing with all the noise out there, and definitely don't have to dance at every party. But since I'm pretty focused by nature, I don't mind to "waste a bit of time." I love the randomness of web explorations. I'm not into the Facebook applications avalanche, but I try to answer every email and write to everyone who adds me as friend.

You remember, about two years ago, you went entirely off-line for 30 days, and I sent you snail mail? You've been struggling with the web for quite some time, a bit like a junkie, a love/hate affair... I LOVE you're here and invite us to come along!

Much love,

Julie Sadler said...

i do remember this moment when I was totally aghast about getting a snail mail! As though it was the most precious thing in the world....

I still feel overly stimulated (can't you tell!) and still have to work very hard to maintain the in-out balance. I have been working on some more intense projects lately. Hope all this binge and purging of networks ends up being a good thing!!!

___A place to find all kinds of information about collage.